Over and over during my life it has been pounded into my head - Never, under any circumstances, quit a job without something else lined up.
Well, because I'm crazy like that, I did just that. I left my employer. I'd been there for four years - at least half of that time spent very miserable, for various reasons. So instead of pissing, whining, moaning, and bitching MORE, while I continue to throw my life away and try to find any type of escape I can, I took action.
I took a leap of faith. (I liken it to running full boar towards the edge of a cliff, with a thrift-store parachute on your back. I'm pretty sure that I've got a parachute. I think. But in the back of my head, I'm praying that when I finally pull the rip cord, a real live parachute comes out of the pack - and NOT a bunch of picnic supplies.)
So now it's time to figure out what I want to do, where I want to go, and in which direction i want my life to go.
I've only ever really done computer stuff... be it repair (five years) or operation (eight? ten?). I'm pretty sure that's where I want to stay. I don't think repair so much, though. I kind of want to have someone I can call if it's broken.
But I think what's doing me the most good right now is just taking a step back and reassessing my situation.
So yeah, I'm looking for work. I try to apply a couple different places each day. But I'm also enjoying the hell out of my pseudo-vacation. =)
This is redonculous. For this, we are paying $44.99/month.
WTF?
So, for the past three months solid, I've let myself slip into a mode where I really just don't care. I haven't kept up with WW, I haven't been taking care of myself at all. No exercise, no eating right, no water, nothing. Lots of Dr. Pepper, lots of Drop Red, lots of fast food and french fries, etc.
I blamed work. I told myself (and my wife) that it was all of the stress that work has me under. I am so completely unhappy at work that I just... give up. I tell myself, "oh, don't worry... I know your day is utter shit, but at least you can have this bag of doritos!" I do this over and over again - the occasions (while at work, at least) have become known as "smock runs" because to get our food we usually go to the local gift ship, The Pink Smock. Often, I'll grab a Dr. Pepper and a bag of chips, but if I'm low on cash I'll use payroll destruction and really load up the handcart - I'll grab four or five drinks, four or five bags of chips, and a candy bar or two for good measure. This lasts me the rest of the day.
This behaviour has got to stop! I know I'm unhappy at work. But what I need to realize is that if I can make myself healthier, I'll BE happier regardless of my situation. I'll be able to breathe and move better, I won't be as tired, I'll be willing to get up off my arse and DO things... it'll pay for itself in a myriad of ways.
So here's the goal. In September, I'm hoping to go to the beach on vacation. (It'll be mine and Kelly's seventh wedding anniversary.) I've got five months between now and then. At a conservative estimate, I could lose a pound a week if I put my mind to it - that's four pounds per month, or 20 pounds total. If I really try, I could easily lose 2 pounds per week at my weight, and still be healthy. That'd double my losses to 40 pounds total.
I'm shooting for 40 pounds between now and September 8.
It'll take dedication, to be sure, but I've done it before. I can do it again!
So, if there's one thing that makes itself known to me more than any other, it's that I don't have a place (really) that I can simply say what is on my mind.
I think that might be here. Soon.
The last few days have been decent. We got good news at work on Friday at the end of the day, and that's always a good thing... a welcome change. Then today has been a day of mostly being lazy, and those are always fun too. But in addition to just plain being lazy, I also took the dogs for a (short) walk. You see, it was seventy+ degrees here today. In January.
I don't know... why don't you ask Mother Nature?
Would you rather go back in time or visit the future?
Submitted by Auds.
At this very moment, I don't think either. You see, I'm about to go see Barbarella at The Wetlands Dance Hall in Chapel Hill, and that makes me very happy. Barbarella rocks my face off. That makes up for the crappy day I had today. WOOHOO!!
So over at Flickr, there's a group called 365 Days where the main goal is to take (and post) a self-portrait every single day for 365 days straight. Because I've always been more of a follower than a leader, I've joined the bandwagon and posted my very first photo today.
I hope I make it all 365. Even more so, I hope I take my health seriously this year and that the 365 self-portraits I take reveal a wonderful change.
Hey, I can dream, right?
